How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
