i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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