woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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