bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
