Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
