Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
