i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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