I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
