...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize