so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
