so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize