i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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