Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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