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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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