you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
