Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I have tasted many bathrooms
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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