how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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