Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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