at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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