Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
