I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I touched a dick in church today
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
