She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
