1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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