I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
