strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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