oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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