Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
