This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
