Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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