There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.