PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Houston, we have a blender
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!