We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..