I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
