Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize