I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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