If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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