Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
