Your face is a jimmy john
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize