I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
