Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize