You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
