My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
