i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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