We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
