Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
