did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
