can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
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A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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