I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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