the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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