FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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