my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
