I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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