dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
