Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
