Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
