New low: just hacked my moms facebook
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize