we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
