it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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