I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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