i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
